Doggies & Me - An Eternal Bond!

If anything has the ability to light up my eyes, that would be doggies!!! I'm particularly fond of huge, fat ones full of fur. I do love dogs in general but I'm partial to the ones blessed with good looks.

London roads and parks are so full of them during weekends and on auspicious days when the sun decides to grace the city with its joyful and warm presence. My favorite hobby in London is to go walking in the parks listening to music, lost to thoughts - of elation & despair and of solitude & loneliness; life is always a balance of good and bad as I've understood it.

I spot a Poodle (not one of my favorites), a Beagle, a Chihuahua, a German Shepherd, a black & velvety Labrador Retriever, a Boxer (it looks weird, again not one of my favorites).

From Top to Bottom & Left to Right:
Poodle, Beagle, Chihuahua, German Shepherd, Labrador Retriever & Boxer

As they pass by one after another my serious looking face breaks into a blissful smile with ease as I get back to my music and thoughts; wait a minute, where was I? Never mind! I redirect my thoughts to the uncertainties in my career and the next few months of anxious wait leading to some clarity. Few more minutes of such musings with great macroeconomic ramifications ;) and I spot a couple of Dachshunds, a Pomeranian, a Grate Dane, an English Mastiff, an Alaskan Malamute and the sexy Siberian Husky.

From Top to Bottom & Left to Right:
Dachshund, Pomeranian, Grate Dane, English Mastiff, Alaskan Malamute & Siberian Husky

I've even spotted an Akita; being instantly drawn to the dog, I walked up to the master and inquired about the breed. I was thrilled to be able to pet the beautiful, well-groomed and majestic dog for a few minutes. That just made my day!!! A sudden halt to all my wayward thoughts. I started craving for a pet dog. I always have. Just that I've never been lucky enough to have had one. Maybe some day!

Akita

Dogs are such a balm to one's soul - ever faithful to its master and unconditional in its love; a silent companion spreading happiness in the lives of those around. No bitching, back-biting, manipulation or drama! Of course, its a big commitment and a responsibility comparable to the likes of raising children. Many times I prefer the company of dogs to that of human beings, except I don't have one. I hope to rectify that soon!

The most ridiculous career advice ever

I've been patient for the last several years but have run out of steam just now,  desperate to communicate my emotions on the 'why'? !

Taking a break for further studies when my career was going great guns wasn't by any means an easy decision;  moreover,  I was subject to severe criticism from those around. I'm usually quite open to feedback. However,  these criticisms strangely revolved around just one topic - 'my marriage'! The common view in circulation was that I should be actively looking to get married rather than wasting my time on pursuing higher studies or attempting to scale the corporate ladder.

Though my capabilities and quality of work were immensely praised, any discussion on future growth or career plans were fiercely brushed off as 'unimportant', being a woman who'd ultimately get married, putting family ahead of career.

Despite the negativity,  I successfully relocated to London for my Masters. The last couple of years have clearly been the best phase of my life; undeniably tough but also the steepest learning curve.  I was overjoyed at being amidst the 'less unequal' Western society. There is respect for every profession. Career aspirations are largely encouraged. The focus of the past several months have been to determine a career that would keep me alive and spirited at most times. To gain new perspectives and set realistic targets I've interacted extensively with the alumni of my school and have had long discussions with my peers.

Surprisingly (or maybe not), 'marriage' as a solution to my confusion over career options emerged a few times during such interactions.  It's simply amazing to note that such perfect solutions were the brainchild of a few men from my own country but living in London. It's such a shame that no amount of education and exposure alters their skewed view of women in general.

I appreciate genuine concern when I sense it;  an alumni mentor of mine (a banker by profession) shared his perspective on the rewards of having a family and a life partner. I know he meant well! But 'marriage' as a solution to lack of clarity on career options coming from men who are barely acquaintances is rude and unwelcome! Too much listening to this crap sometimes makes me wonder,  maybe?  Thankfully within the next few seconds I swiftly retrace from such disruptive thoughts.

I'm not against the institution of marriage; in fact I appreciate it too much to be coaxed into it on account of undue external pressures. I'm yet to meet a guy who'd make me want to take the plunge!

Meanwhile life goes on. I cannot put time or happiness on hold. I went through a rough patch between 2009-11. My mom then shared this quote by H.D. Thoreau with me - ''Happiness is like a butterfly; the more you chase it,  the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things,  it will come and softly sit on your shoulder''. I believe the same applies to love,  soul mates and marriages! !! But to career? Certainly not! !! One has to work her ass off for a good career, it just helps to do what you love :)

Once a Romantic, Always a Romatic

Since 2010 I'd lost hopes of romance in my life. I'd even become a bit cynical though only with respect to my life. I should have guessed it right when, instead of working on updating my CV for job hunt I've decided to go ahead with writing this post.

I've always known I'm a sucker for happy and fairy tale endings, though a reality check made me lose hopes for myself. However, my face certainly breaks into a ready smile whenever I catch couples in a warm embrace or genuinely lost to their surroundings. Just for a few minutes thereafter it makes me crave. Then the glory of the last several years usually ends up dawning on me and I'm incredibly thrilled and relieved with my current state of affairs! :P

Yesterday I watched 'Kutch Kutch Hota Hai', a bollywood blockbuster from 1990s. This movie has been my favorite romantic movie of all times though its been almost a decade since I watched it; having seen it a zillion times since its release in 1998, it was only fair to give it a break for a decade :P

The movie was as compelling as ever. For the first time in the last few years I was hoping I'd bump into that special someone who'd remain special forever. Undoubtedly that is the highlight of being single - you can always hope and dream for the best! That has been the one thing fueling the engine of my life. I wish time would freeze, capturing such moments of hope for eternity!

Now is when the undisputed truth gets to me - the romantic in me seems to be quite alive, but with a renewed perspective :) Phew!  

Falling in Love with London - an everyday affair!

While journey home (=Chennai) is always exciting,  exhilarating and enticing,  journey from home to wherever (=London, presently) is another story altogether. The craving is so intense that I become blissfully numb to the usually nightmarish aches and pains of the 12+ hours of air travel.

The joy of a one month break is inexplicable. Especially to me, a banker who has put in ~80 hour work weeks continuously for over 6 years (of course, with due respect to others who have put in more). Except that when the much anticipated break arrives, I'm almost broke from two years of studying and living in London. Why is it that ironies of life never fail to catch up with me?! When there is time to travel I seldom seem to have money to stretch my limits, whereas when there is money I've always lacked the natural ingredient for travel,  'time'.

Anyway,  moving on. ...

It was during this trip and after 15 months of being away from Chennai that I met up with most of my running friends (the Dream Runners) and a few of my hiking friends - my partners in crime (the Chennai Trekking Club). Though I knew I've missed them,  the intensity of it hit me after spending quality time with them during this trip.  My running buddies almost succeeded in dragging me along to the Mumbai marathon in Jan (except, there wasn't a free bib available) and my hiking buddies nearly whisked me away on a trek to Kodaikanal (except, I played spoilsport).

During the day, I was alternating between eating sumptuous meals, sleeping like a piece of meat, reading my favorite Michael Connelly novels and socializing. I was petrified of nights because of my jet lag and the haunting thoughts of uncertainty in my career progression. I slept barely for a few minutes only to be woken up with palpitations and an acute feeling of anxiety. As I sat up in bed I'd catch a glimpse of the Cold and Dark room of mine in London swiftly making me tear up. I hated having to return to London as much as I hated the crying. It's been a steep learning curve in London during the past several months - though it has been one of the best phases of life, by far it was the toughest. My parents were worried sick and made me promise a relocation if such paranoia followed me to London.

I was crying on my return flight evidently resisting my impending return to London. I missed my family,  I still do. I think a part of me would always remain in Chennai at 'home'.

Now here comes the part that's hilarious!  My flight lands ahead of schedule and I walk down to the nearby Costa at Heathrow Terminal 4 to grab a cuppa tea as I await the arrival of my cab. After my first sip of the familiar 'English Breakfast' tea, I register the background noise - music from Costa and the non stop chatter from people around. Though I am alone, I don't feel quite that alone! Slowly I feel my spirits soar to a 'sky is the limit' state of mind. I've read somewhere that 'If a man is tired of London, he is tired of life'. Never before have I acknowledged falling in love - over & over again. That must surely explain the dizziness that held me mesmerized with a sheepish grin plastered on my face. I fell hard for London,  yet again! !! One month of life in London and now I'm hoping I'd get a job profile to my liking to keep this love affair thriving (of course, I'm happy to move back - I still do maintain that). Love for London is certainly glorious!