A bite of hostel life: Indian YMCA, London

For several years I’ve heard so much about hostel life – some bragging about the fun episodes while others emphasising on the nightmarish ones! Fun or nightmare I think depends to a large extent on the people contributing to your experience.

I’ve lived in London for almost two years before moving to the Indian YMCA. I must acknowledge that I’ve never felt more at home in London than in the last 4 months since my move to ‘the Y’, as it’s fondly called by its residents. There certainly is a buzz in the air @ 41 Fitzroy Square!

I remember our Independence Day celebrations on 15^th Aug '14; we had cultural programs – music and dance rendered by the residents which kept the audience enthralled. I was so excited that I’d volunteered to be the host for the evening. I’m glad I did not end up embarrassing myself! :)

Soon after followed the Diwali celebrations at the Y (Oct '14)! The Residence Committee, chosen a few weeks ago by the management on the 'Annual Induction Day' of residents, was certainly an enthusiastic bunch. The group closely engaged with and was mentored by Mr. Anil Kumar Charles, the Assistant General Secretary who more than mirrored the group’s excitement. A special thanks to him for his guidance and continued support! 

Diwali coincided with the annual day and was celebrated in all grandeur. The celebrations spanned 3 days – on the day of Diwali we had special dinner for all residents and guests; on the second day had the annual day felicitation function and cultural programs – music and dance performance rendered by residents of YMCA with Prajish & Rhythm delivering short speeches on the significance of Diwali and experience @ YMCA respectively, followed by another special dinner; and on the third day we had fireworks by residents after yet another special meal. Karan and Shanmugam were the hosts for the function on the second day.

Karan and Shanmugam hosting the show!

Rhythm sharing her experience at YMCA

Prajish speaking on the significance of Diwali

I was part of the dance team – it was fun all through. We had practice sessions every single day starting from two weeks in advance running up to the ‘D’ Day. Most of the practice sessions were after dinner until almost midnight! Words fail me in my attempt to reminisce such moments as those during the practice sessions that were interspersed with dessert treats and spooky episodes of ghost appearances! This might sound modest, but I’m quite positive that I was one of the least gifted dancers out there. Nevertheless, I’m sure nobody would have had more fun than me – I was generally moving it and giggling away to glory. One awesome team that was! Dance was choreographed by Samidha (masterji 1) and Sharmila (masterji 2) while music was co-ordinated by Krishna.

'THE FUNKY DANCE TEAM'
Praneti Kulkarni, Nimya Anil, Vaishali Enos, Riya Thomas, Gayathrisai Chandrasekaran, Prajish Vinayak, Ashwin Balaji Anandkumar, Karan, Shanmugam Palaniappan, Samidha Kowli, Sharmila Kamalakkannan, Sandheep El, Bala Murugan,Nazneen Sherif and Ishita Kulkarni

To sum up, YMCA has been a home away from home. The staff and management are very kind, caring and helpful. This is a place where you make lifetime associations and frienships! I'm glad my journey in London brought me here :)

  

Lonliness to Solitude

I’ve always been surrounded by people, rather I’ve needed people around me; this has been the case since time immemorial. I had separate groups for different interests of mine and I loved things that way – a group of friends to suit my different moods and hobbies.

Obviously I felt quite thoroughly displaced after my shift to London. First few months were exciting; they involved exploring the unknown and experimenting new things with the hope of making a positive impact. Testing the boundaries of your horizons is great fun when all other factors in life remain constant. Whereas in London I slowly realized that all other things in my life had changed for good.

It is in London, away from my comfort zone and devoid of a support system, that I figured it takes all kinds to make this world. There are quite a few people who take pleasure in breaking one’s spirits. In their failure and misery they seek to step all over others. Frankly, avoiding such people is impposible. Maintaining immense strength of character and resilience at all times acts as a deterrent in giving them a sense of satisfaction. Pretending to be invincible is what helped me – though I couldn’t avoid such people, I kept a reasonable distance from them and their negativity. It’s worth mentioning though that London is also where I’ve made friendships for a lifetime and have had the pleasure of meeting some of the most intruiging, inspiring and intresting people ever!

London made me cynical in the beginning but it taught me to remain tough, to stand up for myself when others around me were either indifferent or against me and to handle subtle insinuations against one’s nationality with grace and poise. It taught me to listen more and say less. It taught me that most things in life are not personal; in fact they are more about others – either their failures (insecurities) or their scheme of things. Most importantly it taught me to look at lonliness as solitude. In solitude I have found peace! In company I have learnt to maintain my individuality! Thank you, London

Letter to a Mentor

"You are such a glorious bundle of positive energy that negativity I’m sure is petrified of approaching you. Someday I wish to succeed in my attempts to possess such unabashed positive attitude that makes the whole cosmos work in my favour.

I was amazed to notice that everyone I’d interacted with in the banking world (London/India) seemed to either know you personally or at the very least to have heard of you! It was truly my good fortune to have had you as my very first boss – the best mentor I’ve had!

Last two years were quite challenging for me. I was out of my comfort zone trying to balance academics, job hunt, networking and leaving behind a legacy for other students Handling the cultural diversity was overwhelming at times but it widened my perception of the world. As I approached end of term, my internships happened – one in banking and one in a hedge (credit) fund. I saw all around me how difficult it was to crack London’s job market especially under the finance umbrella.

I was contemplating on whether my decision to move to London for a break was a wise one, particularly since I felt completely uprooted from my ecosystem. Also, moving away from banking (supposedly a ‘known-devil’) was quite unsettling. After MiF @ LBS and my brief stint at LNG Capital I realized that any change in career path had to happen now, else was not likely to happen anytime in the near future.

Throughout the phase of constant mental turbulence you gave me the right guidance advising me to give London a chance with a view to later moving back to home ground at senior roles. Today while writing this small note to you, I’ve managed four offers (a 100% conversion) in just under two months, of course you know the one I finally chose. When I close my eyes and think about what played a major role in my excellence & success at LBS, without second thoughts I know it was your faith in me (apart from of course God’s grace; atheists kindly excuse the reference!).

I hope to continuously  grow & succeed under your guidance and best wishes. You are testimony to something I’ve always suspected – that no amount of qualifications can ever catch up with experience & wisdom. I will always look up to you with respect & admiration for all your achievements and accomplishments – you truly are an inspiration!”

Bear-Hug Cravings!

There used to be a phase in my life when I was inseparable from a Teddy bear that my mom got me from London (1989) and a Racoon that my mom got me from Singapore (1992).

People at home used to generally be on the lookout for the teddy bear and/or racoon. Why? Because, while in desperate pursuit of me, there was a joyous moment in spotting these creatures, as it would mean grabbing me in a matter of seconds.

I blame it all on these extensions of me for getting me caught for all my mischief. Despite being clear to hide myself, I used to be extremely generous in displaying my cuddly companions which used to invariably get me caught. Very comfortably seated right in the middle, under the bed, I used to be in my own wonderland. Except, in  momentary excitement the tail of the racoon usually somehow managed to give a peek to the outside world.

Oh crap! Is that my mom's face staring into me? Oops, is she getting closer to me? I bury my face in the palms of both hands and fervently hope that would miraculously make me invisible. Stupid (yet, cute) kid! A hand reaches for me under the bed and rests on my ears. Ouch! She drags me from under the bed by my ears; hugs me, smothers me in kisses and now comes the rough part, which is quite petrifying for the kid in me - I'm instructed to diligently gulp down my milk. YUCK! I hated it - bournvita / complan / horlicks / plain milk. But the bear hug and kisses from my mom made me turn to pulp. I swiftly used to order my taste buds to take a walk and down the whole crap! To this day, whenever I see people gulping down milk, my facial expression turns to one of revulsion as though on autopilot. Milk in coffee and tea is great, otherwise nothing has changed.

I miss my teddy bear and racoon as well as their bear-hugs so much! More so in London than ever before.

'Specimen' Series #1

The free-spirited and carefree,  yet incredibly talented kid walks in. A 'namuna' (specimen equivalent in Hindi) that plonks itself at the entrance of the office asks her 'why didn't you come last two days?' In all honesty,  she says she was down with fever.  The namuna replies,  'Oh really?  Are you sure?  You look completely well and refreshed! '

Her smile is quite famous.  The moment any sort of a frown forms on that sweet face, more than the self, rest of the world experiences a flutter of panic.

So,  she flashes one of her famous smiles and walks past the namuna; gets to her cubicle at work and resumes her affair with MS Office! Namuna walks up to her and says,  'So lucky! You walk in and out of office anytime you like'. This time the cute kid doesn't bother responding,  she pretends to be deaf and dumb. In fact encounters of the past five months with this particular namuna have made her gain expertise in such pretense!

Play deaf and dumb in response to annoying comments from Specimen!

Facts:
#1 Kid is doing part time job,  three days a week and six hours a day;  pay is proportionate to the hours!
#2 Kid hasn't taken any day off in the last five months,  though is entitled to one day a month! 

Do women help each other?

I don't claim to be an expert while making such observations as the ones expressed in this article. My views stem from a combination of instinct and experience, though they may differ from that of the readers.

The last couple of years during 'networking events', I've noticed very few women show interest in having conversations with those of the same sex. Well,  I guess it is quite natural that opposites attract. I also got the impression that few women executives from bulge bracket banks and consulting giants attend such events merely from a publicity or reputational standpoint. They couldn't care less about identifying and fostering female talent. Clearly the attitude is, 'I've come up the hard way with all odds against me,  so why bother with mentoring? '. To a  large extent women are responsible for putting a spoke in the wheel hampering career progression of peers or juniors!

And why wouldn't they if their experience has been any similar to or worse than the ones mentioned below?!

As a student ambassador of London Business School I've been interacting with many prospective students as well as those admitted into the program over the last two years.  While most of them still manage a 'hi' or a 'smile' or even a 'nod' in acknowledgement of my presence,  there are a handful (including 'females') who go out of their way to avoid the rendezvous - either by seeing through me or by walking around,  rather than past me to avoid eye contact! Subsequent to such repetitive episodes when my intelligence has clearly ruled out 'coincidence' as the rationale for the spontaneous behaviour,  what motivation would I have to mentor these characters going forward? !

A classmate of mine was attempting a career shift from being a trader to a buy - side analyst.  I gathered from her that she was given a cold shoulder by every female she reached out to and met up with from the industry. It was a few acquaintances and friends (men) who helped her with meaningful connections. Today she has successfully made an entry into the sector with a global asset management firm after nearly a year of hard work and undying determination. I doubt she'd be jumping up in joy at an opportunity to help a woman anytime soon!

I'm sure other women have encountered similar or even worse situations that have certainly influenced their perception of 'women' in general. Many times when you can't truly get back at those who actually cause the bitterness,  it is natural to hold a grudge against a particular gender/race/nationality at large. To rise above such situation requires tremendous strength of character. I'm not sure I can do that myself at all times!

When I see women around me I always wonder what causes them to be so passionately against each other quite often?Would it be envy at the others fate? Could it be personal insecurities?

Though it is undeniably challenging,  it would be great if women leaders could take on greater mentorship responsibilities to bring more women into the fold of senior management in the global corporate world. Most of those successful have stories of toil and battling against the odds to speak of and write about. Of course it is commendable to be able to succeed, but why not make it a bit simpler for those genuinely deserving of a helping hand? !

This article does not mean I'm not a feminist. How can I be against women when I'm one of them?! How can I not be a feminist being an alumnus of Stella Maris College, Chennai. It is just that I see things that are not doing womenfolk any good and am thinking out loud!

I've spent a considerable amount of time with my maternal grandparents,  paticularly my grandmom,  as a child,  a teen and as an adult. I've been greatly affected by her views and they ended up shaping my fundamentals. She says,  'There will always be people better off and worse off than you in life at any given point in time. The former drives you towards excellence whereas the latter keeps you grounded'. Acceptance of and love for the 'package', that is 'you', with all the strengths and weaknesses shall exorcise the demons of insecurities. Arrogance might get people to move up the ladder towards success in life but it stalls success beyond a point.

I just hope we women help make the lives of other women much more pleasant and beautiful going forward :) if we don't help each other out who else would? !

Doggies & Me - An Eternal Bond!

If anything has the ability to light up my eyes, that would be doggies!!! I'm particularly fond of huge, fat ones full of fur. I do love dogs in general but I'm partial to the ones blessed with good looks.

London roads and parks are so full of them during weekends and on auspicious days when the sun decides to grace the city with its joyful and warm presence. My favorite hobby in London is to go walking in the parks listening to music, lost to thoughts - of elation & despair and of solitude & loneliness; life is always a balance of good and bad as I've understood it.

I spot a Poodle (not one of my favorites), a Beagle, a Chihuahua, a German Shepherd, a black & velvety Labrador Retriever, a Boxer (it looks weird, again not one of my favorites).

From Top to Bottom & Left to Right:
Poodle, Beagle, Chihuahua, German Shepherd, Labrador Retriever & Boxer

As they pass by one after another my serious looking face breaks into a blissful smile with ease as I get back to my music and thoughts; wait a minute, where was I? Never mind! I redirect my thoughts to the uncertainties in my career and the next few months of anxious wait leading to some clarity. Few more minutes of such musings with great macroeconomic ramifications ;) and I spot a couple of Dachshunds, a Pomeranian, a Grate Dane, an English Mastiff, an Alaskan Malamute and the sexy Siberian Husky.

From Top to Bottom & Left to Right:
Dachshund, Pomeranian, Grate Dane, English Mastiff, Alaskan Malamute & Siberian Husky

I've even spotted an Akita; being instantly drawn to the dog, I walked up to the master and inquired about the breed. I was thrilled to be able to pet the beautiful, well-groomed and majestic dog for a few minutes. That just made my day!!! A sudden halt to all my wayward thoughts. I started craving for a pet dog. I always have. Just that I've never been lucky enough to have had one. Maybe some day!

Akita

Dogs are such a balm to one's soul - ever faithful to its master and unconditional in its love; a silent companion spreading happiness in the lives of those around. No bitching, back-biting, manipulation or drama! Of course, its a big commitment and a responsibility comparable to the likes of raising children. Many times I prefer the company of dogs to that of human beings, except I don't have one. I hope to rectify that soon!